


a casual affair

by Joiedevivre



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Post War AU, a love story and a tragedy, i fixed some things and broke some others, i'm sorry luna you don't deserve this, it's not a casual affair not even close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9471623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joiedevivre/pseuds/Joiedevivre
Summary: With the help of his friends, Noct has done the impossible - he's defeated Ardyn, reclaimed the Crystal, and abolished the Starscourge forever. But happy endings aren't happy for everyone.





	

Noct's back hits the wall with force, a grunt slipping past his lips from the impact. He's almost winded but he doesn't have the time to care. Ignis' hands are working buttons open and his mouth is whispering a line up Noct's neck, each kiss a promise and a regret. They don't have time to waste and Ignis is steely silent in his desperation while Noct is strangling back all the sounds that want to come flooding out his mouth. He leans his head back as far as he can and fumbles at Ignis' belt, nowhere near as proficient as his partner. "Let me," Ignis whispers urgently, his hands closing around Noct's and moving them gently. Noct acquiesces easily, allowing Ignis to take over. 

They are in a maintenance closet, surrounded by boxes of indeterminate contents, cleaning tools strewn across shelves, and the door is propped shut with the ancient metal frame of a dilapidated chair. 

They are in the Citadel, and there are hundreds of people just barely outside the door. 

They are not holding back, because neither one of them can guess what will happen after today. 

Noct's jacket is folded to prevent creasing and laid over one of the shelves, the moonflower boutonniere resting atop, gleaming accusing white in the dim light. Noct shuts his eyes. He doesn't want to remember what's outside the door. His vest and formal shirt are loose on his shoulders, untucked and unbuttoned and his chest bared for Ignis' needy grasp and he works his own pants loose just in time as Ignis reaches for him and pulls them together. The skin on skin is what they've been chasing and Noct hums out a gasp that's almost a cry. "Don't," he says, voice breaking, "don't," and Ignis doesn't stop, his long fingers pressing into his hips and his lips trailing the underside of Noct's chin. "Never," he answers, "I won't." and Noct can only nod. 

_Don't stop._

_Don't let me go._

_Don't leave me._

Neither one of them has any illusion that they're doing this out of sexual need. They are pushing toward the end of something that was futile from the start and they can't let go. Ignis' shoes bump against Noct's as his hips press in and roll against him, and he slides back automatically. Noct knows he's thinking about leaving scuff marks on the gleaming polish he'd buffed out the night before, and it's so typically Ignis that it almost breaks through the tatters of his composure. Ignis feels the shudder in his chest and pulls back in an instant, hands moving up to cup Noct's chin softly, as his gaze searches Noct's face." "You can't," he whispers, seeing the too-bright shine of tears rising in his eyes and redness blooming on his cheeks. "Noct, you must not." 

Noct tries for a brave smile. "You know I've never been good at hiding what I'm feeling." 

They both know, and it's the most dangerous thing for them now. Ignis will never break, his composure is impeccable. But Ignis isn't the one getting married today, and Noct isn't made of such stern stuff. 

"How can I face this, Ignis," he pleads. "How can I do it?" The more he tries to hold back the sadness, the angrier he becomes. "Haven't I given enough? What haven't I done?" He saved the world. He won the war. He's the Chosen king, and he's always done _everything_ he's been called upon to do. 

Ignis is silent and still for several moments, until finally he moves again, this time to pull Noct close to him, all of him, whole bodies aligned, letting Noct lean his head on his shoulder and not even saying anything about what it could do to his hair. "You can," he says quietly over the top of his head. "You can because you must. I'll never leave you, Noct. I swear it." 

The words aren't said lightly, and Noct can feel the weight of them sinking through him, an indelible truth. He can't even remember a time when Ignis wasn't with him.

He swallows back the choking pain in his throat, forces it down. "I know you won't," he replies, steadier, his head clearing. "I won't give you up. I won't, Ignis." The words are heavy with his own promise, and Ignis slows his hands in the stroking movements over Noct's back as he takes in the full meaning. It's entirely contrary to the multitude of conversations they've had on the matter, over and over in the preceding weeks as they watched the calendar counting down to what they had agreed was an inevitable end. 

"Noct," he says, pulling back and looking down at him sadly. "You can't. How could I let you? You're not that kind of man, to do something so -" he falls silent, drowning in his own weakness. All the things he should say build up in his chest and stick behind his teeth. Dishonorable. The word is dishonorable. He can't bear to bring the word to life, won't label Noct with it. "We agreed," he says instead. "We've talked about this. We agreed." He doesn't want to make the argument, but he forces the words out. 

"I know what we said," Noct's eyes are blazing. "I know, and I won't do it. Stop telling me what I can't do, because there's only one thing I can't do, and that's give you up. Whatever that makes me - that's what I am. I won't be any more or any less. I've always been everything, for everyone else, and now I'm telling you, I won't be anything, if I'm not with you."

The ferocity in his expression is impossible to deny and Ignis is overwhelmed by his unyielding resolve. 

"Say it, Ignis. Say it's you and me, forever." Noct is insistent, demanding an answer. There's something in his voice now, an imperious note that Ignis has only heard once before, and he recalls it with perfect clarity. It was the morning before the dawn, the day before his sight returned, when Noct stood up before the gods, ready to throw down his life for the world. Ignis had not seen him then, had not been able to, and the determination of purpose on the face that accompanies the voice is incredible to behold. 

Ignis has never seen him more kingly. It's all he can do to nod. "You and I," he says, finding courage of a type he's never yet had to call upon. 

"You and I," Noct repeats, sighing deeply and relief surging through his form visibly. "I can do it, then. I can do it, if I have you." He's himself again, half boy and half man. The year that was stolen in the crystal hadn't taken that from him, nor had the year of rebuilding since the great dawn, nothing has altered him so drastically that he doesn't still in his most vulnerable moments appear the boy that Ignis has always known. 

Noct reaches up and touches the scar around his eye gently. "I'll marry her," he says. "I'll marry her, but I'll love you. It will have to be enough." 

Ignis knows he means it will have to be enough both for her and for him. 

He wonders if he will have better side of it, knowing what he'll have to share, while Luna will only ever receive half the man she will marry. He wonders if she knows even now how far Noct's heart is from her.

"It's enough for me," he tells Noct, and it will be. When it comes to Noct, enough is a complicated word to start off with, and he's never once had as much as he truly wants of him. That Noct will give him this much, will go this far for him - Ignis does not underestimate the enormity of the gift. "I love you," he says, full of feeling and gratitude. "I love you, Noctis. My king. My heart." He can't hold back now, pressing kisses all over Noct's face as they begin anew to put hands on every part of of each other. 

"Ignis," Noct sighs, and Ignis knows he means 'thank you' and 'I love you' both. 

  
\---- 

The ceremony itself is simple, for all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the event. Ignis understands why it's all necessary. After so many years of tumult, it's hard for people to believe that the war is finally over, that they might finally live in peace. It's why Noct's marriage is so important, this extravagant show of manufactured happiness to restore faith to the people. The people must have hope, and they must have confidence in their young king after so much discord and violence. It will take more than a royal wedding to rebuild nations, but a strong and unified front facing forwards will go a long way in carrying them into the future. 

There is also the matter of a royal heir. Noct is young, but his life has been fraught with danger, often publicly and very visibly. In truth, Ignis thinks he cannot thank King Regis for his methods in keeping Noct away from the public for nearly all of his youth. He wonders how Noct must appear as a king to his people. Distant, certainly. Strong? It remains to be seen. Saving the world, of course, is no small feat, but can that one act overcome the years of silence and vulnerability established by Noct's upbringing? Noctis is the last, the very last, in a dynasty of thousands of years, and recent events have been a terrifying reminder of the frailty of that line in the hands of only one man, one man who has nearly died dozen times over. If Lucis is to have a future, that future must born from his hands. 

Noctis' hands are shaking, Ignis can see even from meters away. He hopes that he is the only one who can see it, though there's no way Lunafreya can have missed it, as her hands are clasped around his over the altar. 

He cannot see her face, but he can hear her voice, low and sweet, as she repeats the words of the traditional Lucian marriage covenant. When it is Noct's turn, Ignis feels his hands tighten around Noct's kingly scepter in his hands, which he holds in useless symbolism as the royal adviser. He has known all along that there was no going back, there never has been in all his life and he has supported Noct through worse than this, through blood and tears and death. Halfway through the first sentence, he hesitates, voice breaking.

It's no good, Ignis thinks of the public broadcast, the screens live over all of Insomnia. He must speak with confidence. He doesn't look like a man in love, he looks fearful, anxious, and he does not lift his eyes from his own hands twined around Luna's white gloves. Ignis wills Noct to have the strength to go on, he must find it somewhere within himself, and almost immediately, he sees Noct's chin rise as he looks up. 

He looks at Ignis. 

The bubble of pride that had just begun to rise in his chest bursts painfully as he meets Noct's eyes. He holds the gaze for a beat before inclining his head towards Luna, signalling him to continue. 

Noct does. He looks away, directly into Luna's eyes, and speaks again, picking up precisely where he had left off, voice rising with strength. He makes it through the vows, back straight and attentive as Gentiana completes the ceremony. 

Ignis knows from this moment on, he will always be watching Noct from across this distance, suspended in silence behind Luna's back. This is only the first test of many.


End file.
